Don't Pretend To Be Wood

This entry is dedicated to my little sister.

One night my sister and her friend were spending the night at my house. Like is common, I had not gone grocery shopping and therefore had basically nothing to feed them. For this reason we embarked on a short journey to the grocery store.

I instructed the girls to go pick out a cereal for their breakfast while I gathered other items. Soon enough I reencountered them walking down an aisle, holding a box of cereal. This wasn’t just any cereal; it was the one they had carefully and distinctly selected. When I saw the box in their hand I rolled my eyes. In a disgusted and critical tone I said, “Really? Out of all the cereals you guys chose that one?”

Immediately my sister pointed at her friend while at the same time my sister’s friend pointed at her. Simultaneously, each girl began explaining that she had not wanted that cereal but the other one had insisted on it. I began to laugh.

I asked the girls why they were justifying their selection of cereal. Had I not told them to pick ANY cereal THEY wanted? Why then were they trying to please ME?

I instructed them to never allow ANYONE, not even ME, to make them feel foolish about the things they liked; the things that were unique to them. I told them to be confident in the choices they make and not to second-guess themselves simply because someone else didn’t like it or was in disagreement.

*

There are times in life when difficult decisions have to be made and the best path is unclear. At times like these there are often individuals in our lives whose input we value and seek.

At other times we fail to make the best choices. In such cases, there are those who, without us necessarily asking, caringly share their wisdom and views because they are genuinely interested in our wellbeing.

But then there are those people who are critical and negative about everything we do, even the little things. (Like cereal.) 

*

Sister,

Although I often still see you as a child, the reality is that you no longer are one.

My desire is that in your life you will make good choices.

I hope that when your path is unclear, I can be one of those people you come to.  

I pray that you will never let others put you down or make you doubt yourself.

I hope that you will have the courtesy to listen to and the wisdom to evaluate the input others offer. To dismiss the negative. And to apply the positive & the truth, even when it's unpleasant.  

I hope that the wrong turns you make (because nobody is perfect) will always lead you to discover something beautiful.

Above all, I hope that you will learn to seek and trust the guidance of the ONLY One who TRULY knows what’s best for you. That will guarantee that despite the bumpy ride and the missed turns, you will end up at the proper destination.

Don’t ever be afraid to be yourself, to express yourself, to trust yourself and to love yourself just the way you are.

Happy Birthday!

I love you!

Act a Fool

The day of halloween, a friend and I went to IHOP for breakfast. Our waitress was in costume… sort of. Along with a few scratch marks, she had smeared blood on her face and arms. She also had a cut out cereal box taped onto her apron. 

After a strenuous 30 seconds of devoted thought, I was unable to arrive at a conclusion as to what she was supposed to be. I enlisted my friend’s help to solve the mystery.

Instantly he stated, “Maybe she’s a serial killer."

“Ooooh! That makes sense.” I responded.

I suggested he confirm his hypothesis the next time the waitress approached our table by asking her if this was indeed what she was attempting to portray. 

“I bet she’ll say, 'Yes! You’re the first person who’s gotten it!'” I stated.

My friend smiled. 

Then I added, “Or she’ll say, 'No. Everyone thinks that but I'm actually a ____.'”

His smile faded.

He thought for a moment, then responded, “If it’s the first one, it’ll be cool but if it’s the second one, I’ll look like an idiot.”

“I’ll ask her.” I said. “I don’t care if she thinks I’m an idiot." (It happens often.)

The waitress didn’t come around for a while. When she finally did, my friend had just gotten up to use the bathroom. But as I said I was going to do, I asked her, “Are you a serial killer?”

She looked at me with astonshment.

Amazed, she said “Yes I am. You’re cool! You are the first person who has guessed correctly!... You get a lollypop.” She then gave me two Dum Dums.

When my friend came back I told him what had happened and what the waitress had said.
He asked, “Did you tell her I was the one who figured that out?”

“No. Why would I tell her that?” I responded.

“Because I was the one who figured it out!” He said.

“So??! You were too scared to look like a fool to ask her! If you aren’t willing to take the shame of looking dumb then you don’t deserve the glory of being right!”

After I said this I thought of how true this is.

Some people (no names shall be mentioned) take pride in considering themselves “rebels” yet are sometimes too afraid to take a risk because they don't want to look foolish before others.

Others of us may consider ourselves BOLD, yet we often hold back on ideas, thoughts, comments, opportunities and so many other things because we fear being embarrassed, ridiculed, rejected or just being wrong. 

So what if a stranger thinks you're stupid!? So what if we look temporarily silly or even crazy to our peers!? There are times when we need to take chances. We want the credit for greatness without the risk of failure. Not possible. 

If we want to achieve greatness, we not only have to risk failing, we probably have to accomplish failing a few times. How will we ever know if we're "on to something" if we never give our ideas a chance? They may end up being "not that good," "a little too far out there" or just wrong. They may end up being extraordinary. How will we know if we don’t try?

P.S. Prior to leaving, I did inform the waitress my friend deserved the credit for figuring out her costume. 

Interference

You know those times
When you know about something that happened to someone you love?
Something that is going on in the life of a person you truly care about?

AND

You really want to help them in ANY way you can?
Even if it's just by being there for them, talking about it, listening.....

BUT

You don't SAY anything or take any ACTION.
You don't "interfere" or "meddle."

BECAUSE

THEY haven't told YOU about it,
Nor have they sought out your assistance in any way.

You feel HELPLESS.
Even if you actually have the ability to help.

SOMETIMES

You try to lead conversations in a way that they might bring it up.
You hint at the issue.

BUT

They still don't share their burden with you.

You just wish they would trust you.
If they only told you, then perhaps you could help.

HOWEVER

Until they do...
Your hands are tied.

WELL........

I think that's how it is with us and God.

Artistically Blemished

When applying for a job, you’re usually asked to provide a resume- an outline of your skills and qualifications. At the interview you spend the majority of your time talking about all your strengths and answering questions in a way that demonstrates you to be the clear choice for the position.

On a first date most people share their virtues, the “cool” things about themselves, what they think will attract others.

Why?

Because when people get “selected” for things, whether it is a job, a boyfriend/girlfriend, a part in a play, etc., the process is usually done by evaluating skills, qualities, virtues, strengths and so on.

We are judged based on the things we POSSESS and the things we CAN DO.

God has called some people to be worship leaders. We think it’s because they’re musically skilled. Others are preachers. We think it’s because they’re good at articulating a message. Others are good at teaching and everyone has the thing they “do.”

But…

One day I had this CRAZY idea… a theory… a proposition…

WHAT IF...

God doesn’t call us based on our STRENGTHS or our TALENTS or QUALIFICATIONS or what we BRING TO THE TABLE?...

WHAT IF...

God chooses us due to our IMPERFECTIONS?

WHAT IF...

It is our FLAWS that qualify us for the calling?

God knows our flaws better than anyone. Our “slip ups” come as no surprise to Him.

WHAT IF He was actually COUNTING ON THEM?

Perhaps the DESIGN of my WEAKNESS was precise for me to commit the “RIGHT” MISTAKES?

What if these errors gave me the exact amount of pliability, the ideal measure of elasticity to be MOLDED, be SHAPED, be RESTRUCTURED into the person God wants/needs me to be?

Could it be that sometimes God relies on me to screw up?

God doesn’t select you under the pretense that you would be “ready to go.”

He knew you would need some work.

Why would a craftsman select a finished project? An architect, a completed structure?

What would be the point of that? How could they bring in their creativity and sign it as their work if it was a product that was already complete?

The Bible is full of imperfect people that were called by God. It was their errors that made them better. It was their mistakes that demonstrated their humanity and need for God. It was their flaws that God used to bring glory to His name.

Yes we want to be better but we need to stop being so hard on ourselves when we stumble on our way to excellence. Making mistakes or having a few inner blemishes does not make us “bad people” or “complete failures.” It makes us human and it makes us remember we need our maker. He’s the one who can give us “touch ups” when we need them. He turns our “unfortunates” into part of his plan. He shows us how to use that to fulfill our purpose. After all, He designed us. Who would know better than He?

We are imperfect beings but that’s ok because there is beauty in our imperfections.

God sees it. I hope you can too.