Redefined.

2012 for me was a year of learning…

About myself. About others. About my creator. 

Discovering. Defining. Rediscovering. Redefining.

It was a year of admitting.

Admitting to myself more than anyone else.

That I wasn't things that I thought I was.

That I was things that I didn't want to be. 

Coming to terms with all my imperfections.

Accepting my humanity.

Perhaps it was a year of letting people down. 

Of disappointing. 

Pushing people away.

Isolation. 

Of trying things my way.

It had amazing, incredible moments.

But also a lot of sadness and loneliness.

I wouldn't, however, change any of it. Especially those low points. 
All of it was necessary.

It was all a relevant part of my process. 

Although so many things changed throughout the year,

I learned there was one stable part of my life.

One thing I could always rely on:

God.

No matter how much I changed, how much the things around me changed.

He stayed the same.

In the moments when I would've understood if He turned away

Or even expected Him to leave, 

Not only did His love for me remain unaffected & unaltered,

He proved to be faithful, even when I wasn't.

I disconnected myself from others.

(I’m thankful for those who love me enough to push their way in.)

I disconnected myself from God.

I had a glimpse of what life is like without Him.

I realized that I NEVER want that life!

I learned that:

I can't be me without the thing, The One who defines me.

I can't serve my purpose without the one who designed me.

I can't know myself without knowing my creator.

I learned that the thing I was looking for was there all along.

And not only was it there, it was pursuing me.

I am rediscovering Him. Falling for Him again.

And in that process, finding myself.

I have high expectations for 2013. 

But I'm not about to just sit back and wait for awesome things to happen.

I don't want to do things my way this year.

I want to be a part of what God is doing.

I NEED to be.

Wherever He is, that's where I want to be.

This month I've started the journey. I know it won’t be a smooth ride for its entire duration but it can only lead somewhere great!